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News THIS! – Britain Party Manifesto Ushers In New Political Era

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The Britain Party’s new manifesto has surprised pundits and received acclaim by eschewing the usual promises of change and facts inconvenient to the Government. Instead, it consists entirely of rhetorical questions and pictures of flags. Other Parties have reacted with astonishment. “We can do that?” exclaimed a Gentry Party representative.

The manifesto has been praised by analysts, who recognise that modern politics is not about facts and policies, and instead is based on vague appeals to patriotism and misguided loyalty to an ideal that has never existed in the real world.

We took the manifesto out on to Grambly High Street to find out what the public thinks.

  • “Finally, a party that asks the hard questions!” said Kenny Plywood, 31, a registered voter and moron.
  • These questions need to be asked!” said Persephone Chips, 21, as she filled her car with cooked porridge.
  • I don’t like the numbers the other parties use. Is a million even a real number? Speak English, geeks!” said Clive Clive, 48 (approximately), local sawdust-mine foreman.

This is a bold move after the Britain Party was thought to be out of touch after its “Please Be Scared” campaign which included pictures of shifty looking people wearing T-shirts printed with “ROMNAIA” indulging in such nefarious pursuits as adulterating a gentleman’s tobacco pipe with a slightly cheaper blend, and the slogan “Do You Want Your Next Butler To Be Romanian?”

We approached the Britain Party spokeslord “Custard” Smingleigh for comment, but he hit our reporter with his stick and called him an “uppity prole”.

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