Quick Time Blogging Event!
Historical Note: This comment originally appeared as three, in response to Pengun, on Rock Paper Shotgun.
“Your husband… Is dead,” said Brent Hardjaw.
And this, gentle player, is where the story of Brent Hardjaw – ACTION HERO – splits in three. Two icons appear on the screen, one for Renegade action, one for Paragon action. Choose your path wisely, dear player!
Hardjaw goes to put his arm around her – but no, it’s a feint! He punches her full in the face! She falls to the floor, and he frowns at the camera woodenly:
“This widow… is a BOMB.”
The widow lies on the ground rubbing her jaw, eyes flashing with rage, and a little smoldering lust.
“How did you know I have been a terrorist bomb all along, infidel?” she spits her words like deadly, deadly knives.
“I didn’t,” smirks Hardjaw. “You just confirmed it.”
The grieving widow slumps forwards into the manly arms of Brent Hardjaw, sobbing deeply! She clutches him for the strength only his wooden arms can provide:
“But… You see… I am a BOMB!”
Hardjaw nods quietly, and deadpans: “I know.”
“I’ve been a terrorist bomb all my life.”
Hardjaw smiles at her and takes her hand gently in his own.
“I’ve always known. But it’s okay, you don’t have to explode.”
“…Okay,” sniffs the widow.
You didn’t select one and time ran out!
“Your husband saved a kitten sanctuary by smothering flames with his own flesh… To death.”
“Brent, you’re the godfather to our children and have been a close friend for many years, and you’re also my brother-in-law, but… I am a BOMB!”
“How could I have missed the signs that are so obvious in hindsight?” cries Hardjaw.
“FOR TERRORISM!” she shrieks, detonating.
Hardjaw is blown through a closed window, landing in a shower of glass shards.
“Nooooo! Mrs. Doomed-Sidekick! I shall avenge you!” swears Hardjaw.