Dwarf Cop!

The door to the Upside Down Head was heavy oak. Some part of my mind recoiled in perfunctory horror, but I pushed it back and down with the ease of long practice. I rapped on the door with the pommel of my sword. A narrow eye slot slid noisily open and two of the most rheumy, bloodshot eyes I have ever seen on a human squinted out at me. 

The Night Before Axemas

The Night Before Axemas

Twas the night before Axemas, and all through the bunker
Not a creature was stirring, in the foxholes they hunkered.