A Manned Mission to Mun – From Ignorance to Englightenment via Fear: Part Two
This morning there is a new star in the sky above Kerbin. Blind Optimism IV has achieved a stable orbit and is relaying telemetry. Our lawyers have advised me to tell you Blind Optimism I and II are not, and never were, affiliated with the Kerbal Space Center, and we have no legal liability for the resulting craters and civilian casualties. They will not be discussed at this conference, or spoken of again. Ever.
Blind Optimism III, still spiraling down in a decaying orbit, gave us valuable information about operations in space. Firstly, there is no atmosphere in space. It just gets real thin, and eventually stops. As you can imagine, this has caused uproar in the scientific community, several of whom were observed to point both eyes at the person telling them this information. Our plans to use propeller aircraft to get to the Mun have been indefinitely postponed, and we’re pretty sure the Zeppelin plan is a no-go. Nobody liked that plan anyway as Zeppelins don’t have any hardpoints to mount rockets.
Frankly, the lack of air has set our plans back by hours. And so, because it absolutely sucks, we have named it “vacuum”.
Good news though, the wings we had fitted to the probe to help it glide turned out to be second-hand photovoltaic arrays. These harness the limitless power of Kerbolar energy, meaning we no longer have to worry about launching missions into orbit to change batteries every six hours.
Now that we’ve established procedures for going to space that have worked exactly 25% of the time, we’ve moved to Phase II – manned orbit. The lack of interplanetary atmosphere has caused delays, but we expect we can reverse the direction of the aquarium pumps in the next ten minutes or so.