The Blogging Parlour

I think I have some biscuit crumbs down my trousers.

Archive for the month “February, 2013”

In Accordance With Prophecy


Friend Raynor!

There’s a prophecy which we’ve never mentioned before that foretells the exact plot of this game! In fact the prophecy also says we’re about to have this conversation, and the prophecy also tells me what you’re going to have for breakfast tomorrow morning, and the prophecy says our lucky numbers are 11, 14, 27, and 34… Although that part of the prophecy is… unclear. Read more…

Correct Interview Technique


Historical note: Alec of Rock Paper Shotgun had an interview with Ken Levine of Irrational. Some thought he was a bit too deferential. This is my take. Because it is sadly necessary, this post comes with a warning for parody and hyperbole, and was produced in a facility that also handles peanuts.

Well to start, Alec should have kicked open the door and put Ken in a headlock. I could’ve done that, but then, I know karate and jujitsu and Shanghai Municipal Police Basic Self Defence. Also I carry a knife in my pocket and a gun in my teeth and my forehead has to be registered with the local authorities wherever I go because I once killed a man with it. True story. Read more…

I Am Aperture


A guest post by Cave Johnson, founder and CEO of Aperture Science Innovators.

This is Cave Johnson, blogging at you from 600 feet underground, wired into the heart of my personal External Communications Pod.
Read more…

A Manned Mission to Mun – From Ignorance to Enlightenment via Fear: Part Eight


Well, that didn’t go well. Read more…

The Executioner

Destroy him, and you shall only become him.

World of Warcraft wakes. He’s back in the arena basement, shackled by arcane EULAs that glitter like the razor-sharp edges of broken dreams. His body, once youthful and vibrant, is an aged husk, not so much alive as forbidden to die.

He glances at himself in the dirty, cracked mirror and shudders. He considers slitting his throat with the dull blade they allow him for shaving.
No, he thinks. The last time he attempted suicide it was sold as an expansion. Read more…

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