The Blogging Parlour

I think I have some biscuit crumbs down my trousers.

Quick Time Blogging Event!

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Historical Note: This comment originally appeared as three, in response to Pengun, on Rock Paper Shotgun.

“Your husband… Is dead,” said Brent Hardjaw.

And this, gentle player, is where the story of Brent Hardjaw – ACTION HERO – splits in three. Two icons appear on the screen, one for Renegade action, one for Paragon action. Choose your path wisely, dear player!

Read more…

News THIS! – Exam Passes Up Again; “Kids Still Dumb” Says Government

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A few years ago I tried my hand as a writer of news satire. I’d comb the Interwebs and select an article to parody. Watch as I crank the gyros on the Archiv-O-Matic to bring the articles back… FROM THE PAST.

Historical Note: This was in response to the inevitable media outcry that accompanied every single year’s exam results being published.

LONDON, England –UK Government sources decry once more the shameful failings of Britain’s education system. Despite continual pressure to increase performance in a measurable way, teachers and pupils are failing themselves and each other by allowing the GCSE pass rate to increase year-on-year. Read more…

A Manned Mission to Mun – From Ignorance to Enlightenment via Fear: Part Nine

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Hello and welcome to the Kerbal Space Centre tour. Please ensure you’re wearing your complimentary Totally Fun Safety Helmet at all times. Why do you need a helmet? Don’t ask. Also, don’t look up. Read more…

Something Dark Stirs

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This post originally appeared as a comment on Rock Paper Shotgun.

*Scene: Interior, the bleak fortress of Ekz. Its master, the mysterious Bokz, clad in dark armour of sinister aspect lit only by the pulsing glow of a single ring within his visor, is being briefed by a flunky.*

“Mighty Bokz, the Steemes…”

“Don’t trouble me with old news. The Steemes have been a thorn in my side, but even they serve my creation, the Ween Doze.” Read more…

Scruffy Nerfherder

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I’m Han Solo. I’d prefer it if you call me “Captain”. Nobody calls me Captain. That should tell you something about my life. The muscle sitting next to me is Chewbacca. You can call him anything you like, but if you call him something and he doesn’t like it, he’ll rip your arms off and call it bygones. Read more…

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